Tag: sports

  • Worst Fear: Bruins Win The Stanley Cup

    This is the second post in what will be a series on this blog. In the series I highlight my “worst fears” that might happen while I traverse the Appalachian Trail. In my first entry I talked about my fear of alpha-gal syndrome and went into some depth about how his series will go. You don’t have to read that entry before this one, but if you do it helps my metrics.

    The Stanley Cup finals begin today. Congratulations to the Carolina Hurricanes and Vegas Golden Knights, who won their respective conferences and will compete for the most famous piece of hardware in North American sports. My worst fear is that next year the winner will be the Boston Bruins.

    At this point, I should mention that I am a big Bruins fan. I’m wearing my David Krejčí jersey as I type this. I wasn’t always a Bruins fan. I followed the NBA and college basketball as a kid and only really watched hockey during the Stanley Cup finals. I never quite learned all the different weird names of all the divisions and conferences. The Adams and the Norris winners play for the Wales trophy or some shit? Once I moved to Massachusetts for college I became much more invested in the NHL and college hockey. Going to a Beanpot is a New England rite of passage.

    Since I never really followed a team as a youngster, I kind of picked up the Bruins as my team. This lasted until 1997 when the Hartford Whalers decamped and moved to Raleigh, becoming the Carolina Hurricanes. I am from North Carolina and felt like I owed it to the team that came to the state of my birth to pledge my allegiance. Despite still living in the Boston area, I threw my support behind the Canes. I bought a shirt and a hat and everything. The only problem was that I never really watched the Canes or followed the team because 90% of the hockey I consumed was on NESN. Nevertheless, I told myself and my friends that I was a Canes fan; even as I watched Bruins games multiple times a week.

    This charade went on for almost a decade. I finally came to my senses on the night of June 19, 2006. That night the Hurricanes defeated the Edmonton Oilers 3-1 in game 7 to capture the Stanley Cup. The first and still only major professional sports title won by a team from North Carolina. And while the players were parading the Stanley Cup around the ice I felt nothing. I felt no real pride or satisfaction. I just kind of felt, “oh well, good for those guys”. That was when I realized that if I could not get excited for the team after winning the title in game 7 I was never going to. So the next season I finally admitted that I was a Bruins fan and started to act like it. I bought a shirt and a hat and everything.

    Being a Bruins fan during that period was tough sledding. They didn’t make the playoffs in 2007 and barely made it in 2008, before losing in the first round. The 2009 team finished only one point away from the President’s Trophy before losing in seven games to the Hurricanes. 2010 was the year everything was going to be different. The year all those “we want it as much as you do” banners all over North Station were supposed to finally mean something. That was until the Flyers playoff series.

    Boo this man

    One day I’ll be able to see or hear the name Scott Hartnell without weeping like a small girl, but I have not yet reached that point. In the second round in 2010 Boston took a 3-0 lead on Philly in the best-of-7 series. Through bad play, bad luck, and general bad vibes they blew that entire lead and had to play a seventh and decisive game at home. I happened to have drill that weekend at Fort Devens, but we got barracks and the barracks had cable so after a day on the range everyone could catch hot chow and a hot shower before settling in for the game.

    The game started as promisingly as possible and the Bruins opened a 3-0 lead in the first period. Milan Lucic scored twice. The day room in the barracks was jumping and everything was right with the world. The Flyers outplayed Boston from that point forward and by the middle of the third period it was 3-3. Then Boston took the worst “too many men on the ice” penalty since 1979 and allowed a power play goal to Simon Gagne that proved to be the series winner. The day room in the barracks was a mausoleum and the world deserved to burn to the ground. Hartnell had two points in the clincher and finished the series with 5 points and a +3 rating. The numbers themselves don’t paint the full picture of just how much of an annoying shit Hartnell could be over seven games.

    So going into 2010-2011 the team was still wearing that frustration, but won the division behind captain Zdeno Chara’s league leading +33 rating and Vezina winner Tim Thomas in goal. They exorcised some demons by beating the Flyers on their way to the Eastern Conference title. That led to a Stanley Cup matchup with the Vancouver Canucks in June.

    Being an Army Reservist meant there were lots of sacrifices you needed to make. One of which was that they sucked two weeks of every summer away for Annual Training. Of course in 2011 the Annual Training was in Fort Stewart in Georgia. Also of course, it was during the exact same time as the Stanley Cup. Unlike the aforementioned drill at Fort Devens, this training exercise was a full-on field problem. They took multiple different units from all over the eastern seaboard and dropped us onto a training area with GP larges and mediums as far as the eye could see. No creature comforts. There was barely any cellular service and even fewer locations to keep a civilian computer or wireless phone charged. We were only able to get the scores of each game the morning after when somebody made a run to the DFAC and grabbed hot chow for breakfast.

    And by the way, in case you’ve never had the privilege, Fort Stewart in the summer is hotter than the Fonz is cool. Satan probably does his Annual Training drills for the demons in hell there. I’ve lived in Las Vegas and Austin. I’ve worked in the Mojave Desert and Caribbean jungles in the summer. Fort Stewart is far more miserable. Imagine the most humid place you’ve ever been in your life and then add 50% humidity to it while also well into the high 90’s the entire time the sun is out. Our wet bulbs told us it was heat category 5 every second from about an hour after sunrise to an hour after sunset. We spent at least half of everyday being prevented from training and just sitting in our tents sweating our balls off sucking down as much water as our buffalo could hold. In short the whole thing was horrid, and never knowing what was going on in the Cup Final was the coup de grâce.

    Boston and Vancouver punched and counter-punched through six games and got set for a winner-take-all game 7 on June 15th. This also happened to be the last day of our actual training so the leadership let those of us who wanted take a GSA (minivan) and go to a bar on post to watch the game in civilian clothes. We were forbade from drinking and had to come back as soon as the game ended, but at least it was some kind of reward for a grueling exercise. There were reports of bad weather coming in that night, so we were told to be mindful that if the skies went sideways they would recall us. Of course, the skies went sideways.

    Shortly into the second period, with the Bruins up 1-0, we got the call to leave the bar and cheese it back to the training area. We drove back through a pretty significant rainstorm. What we saw when we got back was crazy, though.

    A microburst had come down right in the middle of our AO. Radio antennae knocked over, tents toppled everywhere, soldiers standing around in various different uniforms fumbling in the dark trying to figure out what was going on. Everyone briefly gathered whatever they had within arm’s reach and walked over to the Reserve Center about three blocks away.

    The Reserve Center was in no way built to provide shelter for all of the soldiers from this exercise. We all had to stand basically nuts to butts in the basement waiting for the “all clear” in case any further storms came in. In my civilian clothes, I was so much more fortunate than those were in the training area when the microburst happened. Everyone was just dressed in whatever they had when the worst of it started. There were people in brown T-shirts and PT pants. ACU jacket and PT shorts with boots. One poor woman had on just a PT shirt and a towel wrapped around her. I guess she was in the middle of a shower at the worst possible time.

    As we all stood there hot and cramped and cranky and miserable, some kind soul was able to get a radio feed of the game over the internet. So I listened to a staticky radio call of the final six minutes of game 7 as Tim Thomas closed out a 4-0 shutout of the Canucks. After the game ended we all stood there for about an hour until they bussed us to some auditorium somewhere or another. We sat in the auditorium until they procured us some barracks to use for the night.

    The next morning we all went back to ground zero and fixed up the tents, collected our things, and got everything ready to tear down. Fortunately, since all of the tents fell straight down most people’s gear stayed right where it was left. A few people lost a few things that had to go down as “field losses” but nothing major like a sensitive item or anything. After packing up our area and spending one more night in the barracks we left on a jet plane back to Boston just in time for the victory parade.

    So basically I missed the 2011 Stanley Cup and did not get to experience it the way I would have liked. Boston went back to the Cup final in 2013 and 2019 but lost both. And the less said about the 2022-2023 season, the better.

    I figure at my age I’ll be lucky enough to see one or maybe two more Bruins championships before I die. Considering what happened in 2011, my worst fear is for them to win in 2027 and I wouldn’t be able to watch or enjoy any of the action.

    Marco Sturm, if you are listening, do well next year. Make the playoffs and even win a round. Bonus points if you knock out Toronto again. But save the deep postseason runs for 2028 and beyond.

  • High Rollin

    So I’m going to do a change of pace here and post something that has nothing to do with hiking or fitness or anything of the sort. It’s allowed; I can do that. I can talk about anything I want because this is my fucking blog. I can also swear casually.

    This past Saturday I went to my first MLS game, Austin FC versus the Houston Dynamo. I had never been to a game here in Austin despite the team existing since 2021 largely for two reasons. One, I feel like MLS is equivalent to third-tier European football, which is something I have never paid to watch either. Two, I have a long-standing, entirely one-sided feud with Austin FC’s principal owner Anthony Precourt.

    Precourt is the sort of billionaire asshole sports owner (BASO) that did everything he could to ruin the Columbus MLS franchise before finally getting an expansion team in Austin. Precourt also happens to be one of those private equity dudes who seems incapable of earning money except by sucking all of the joy out of all of the small things that little people like me enjoy.

    All of that said, if the Austin MLS team was an MLB or NFL team instead I’d happily support them. The sad truth is that every BASO is a douchebag. It’s just that if you are passionate enough about the team they own you’ll look the other way until they do something so bad even their fellow BASOs cannot justify it. Jerry Richardson was the founding owner of my beloved Carolina Panthers. He was a douchebag, the sort of douchebag who puts a giant statue of himself in front of the team’s stadium. That alone was not a fireable offense as a BASO. What was fireable was being a racist, sexist piece of shit.

    Who am I kidding? That alone is not enough. The problem is that Richardson was so racist and sexist that there had to be an investigation. The results of which were so bad they made him sell the team. That is how you get fired as a BASO. Donald Sterling was a known shit sandwich but didn’t get booted from the NBA until they caught him on tape being a racist cocksucker. As long as it wasn’t on tape there was enough plausible deniability to look the other way. Once everything became public record he became expendable. See also, Daniel Snyder.

    Boston Bruins owner Jeremy Jacobs has been a mean-spirited skinflint and outright spiteful to the very fans that feed his bottom line for as long as he has run the team, but he is still a proud BASO. The Bruins are my NHL team of choice because I am a hypocrite and follow Boston despite Jacobs while loathing Austin FC because of Precourt.

    Well anyway this post is not about why every BASO is a fundamentally bad person, it is about my trip to the game. I got a free ticket from a friend who has seats in an unlimited food and drinks section at picturesque Q2 Stadium. He has two season tickets to this area. He had one free ticket because someone else wasn’t able to go. Why? Don’t know, don’t care.

    Now I’ve known this guy since college and I knew he was doing well financially, but I did not know he was doing WELL, if you know what I mean. After graduation he moved to Austin to attend grad school at UT. He was living the life of a poor college student during this time.

    I remember when the Chicago Whie Sox (my team; don’t get me started on Jerry Reinsdorf’s qualifications as a BASO) faced the Houston Astros (his team; he grew up in Houston) in the 2005 World Series we made a friendly wager. I wanted to do $50 but he said that was too rich for him so we did $20 instead. Chicago swept that World Series and I used the $20 to buy a Pale Hose cap with the World Series logo. This was back when $20 could buy a nice fitted baseball cap that now costs about $45 and is sewn together by the lowest bidder that Fanatics can find. I still own that cap even though the bill is literally disintegrating. I swore I’d wear it until we make another World Series and I can replace it. Hopefully Murakami and Montgomery and the boys punch way above their weight soon.

    The point, though, is that he couldn’t put $50 on his favorite team twenty years ago and now he is tossing fistfuls of cash at cushy seats in a swanky stadium. He also lives in a nice house in a gated community in West Austin with an 80″ television. I’m happy for him, and he is now my “rich friend”.

    So we get to the stadium ninety minutes before kickoff because that is when the gates open. Outside they are giving away free cans of Dr Pepper Creamy Coconut, which tastes just like a liquid Mounds bar. First thing we do once we get inside is head for the unlimited food area. I had some street tacos with sumac onions and tahini sauce. Then I got a Karbach Love Street to wash it all down.

    Later on, still before kickoff, I had a smash patty burger with fries, and a serving of pita chips with a whipped feta dip.

    Come kickoff we head down to the seats which are so close to the pitch I am legitimately concerned that I may get hit by an errant free kick. We get to those seats while both two-fisting beers that we sucked down until halftime.

    one fistful of beer

    Second half included more food and beers and a piece of orange olive oil cake. I’d never heard of olive oil cake before that night but I wish I had because it tasted the same way everything else did. Awesomely awesome.

    Oh yeah, and the team actually won 2-0. And they shot like a million fireworks off. And then I went back to my decidedly non-glamorous life where the food and drink is nether “unlimited” nor “delicious” nor even “passably mediocre”. But for one night I got to live like a damn hell ass king thanks to my rich friend. I have not been converted into a fan of Austin FC or Anthony Precourt just yet, but enough more nights like Saturday may change that.