Gene Hikes the Appalachian Trail

Author: ecg8c46f776730a

  • Churning And Burning

    By this point, there is a good to great chance you have seen one of the viral TikTok videos about making butter while you run. There are quite a few out there by now, but I believe this one here is the O.G.

    @momcallsmebirdy

    Churn🧈 and burn 🔥 baby!!! We woke up yesterday and wondered “can you churn butter and run at the same time?” Well, there you have it! Is this an original experience asking for a friend. #churningbutter #farmlife #runningwhilemakingbutter #trailrunning

    ♬ suara asli – Gado-Gado Semesta (Gagas) – Visnarey

    The science behind why this should work is fairly simple. Milk is an emulsion of fats in water. Since fats and water are famous for not getting along well, it is easy to agitate the mixture enough to separate the fat from the water. The up-down and side-to-side motion of running a good distance can be used to do just that. Pour some heavy cream into a bag. Run long enough to agitate the bag sufficiently. Separate the fatty part (butter) from the watery part (buttermilk). Profit.

    With that in mind I bought some heavy whipping cream from Walmart.This shit cost me $2.96 for a pint. That comes out to $23.68 for a gallon. With prices like that I’m surprised no one is blocking a strait or something to control the supply.

    I poured the cream into a one-gallon storage bag and then put that bag into another bag. Got to double bag it to prevent any little accidents from running around nine months from now. No salt added to the bag because I prefer unsalted butter. If you disagree, you can add 1/4 to 1/2 tsp of salt either at this step or after the run.

    Me trying so hard not to make the obvious jokes about filling a bag with my delicious cream.

    I slipped that bag into the back of my hydration carrier and took off. I went for a six mile jaunt around town. Once I got back I checked out the results of my exertion.

    It is tough to tell from the picture, but my results were less than stellar. What I found was something definitely solid, but not very solid. There also was essentially no separation and no liquid phase. Whatever I had made was not cream anymore, but was also not butter. I scooped it into an 8 oz container and pondered what had transpired.

    This looks like whipped cream instead of butter. But the ultimate test for any food is the taste test. So I pulled out some brown bread I had also bought from Walmart and smeared this abomination all over it.

    Buttered bread and chocolate milk. Two-thirds of the ideal post-run meal.

    Okay, it actually tasted very good. Tasted enough like butter that in a blind taste test I would have said it was butter. I have no illusions that it is butter or that I could use it in any recipe in lieu of butter, but it does have some value.

    So the whole thing was a failure but not a complete and total failure. Somewhere between “success” and “failure”. A “suck-ure”. From my past life as a molecular biologist, I know all about having experiments go tits up. The important thing is to go over what happened, do research, and try again with some tweaked variables.

    Here are some of my observations:

    • The heavy cream I used was ultra-pasteurized and contained polysorbate 80. Ultra-pasteurized cream is more difficult to separate than pasteurized cream. Polysorbate 80 is a powerful emulsifier that helps heavy cream stay as heavy cream at a wide range of temperatures and other stresses. So, you know, it basically exists in the cream to stop me from getting it to separate like I want.
    • I pulled the cream out of my fridge, shook it up for about 5 seconds, and poured it into the bag. I should have let it get somewhere between 60 and 65 degrees before starting my run.
    • I ran on only improved roads for the entire time, so my up-down and side-to-side movements were limited. I should mix in some trail running to get a good slosh going. Six miles should have been more than enough time, but I could stretch out to seven or eight next time.

    In summation, I was not able to create butter while running. Next time I try (which, I do not know when that will be) I will use a different kind of cream warmed to room temperature and run longer over a rougher trail. I also should have done three minutes of Google searching before I decided to try this. Now I need to go and clean up all this shit in my kitchen.

  • Swedish Ladder Appreciation Post

    There are quite a few outdoor gym setups all over the Austin area. Most of them have these contraptions that look like monkey bars standing erect. I never really gave any thought to what they were for until relatively recently someone I know called one a “Swedish ladder” and said they were great for stretching. Here are a couple of pictures of ladders in their natural habitat.

    I decided to look into these things a little more closely and since then I have incorporated Swedish ladders into my outdoor workout routine. I’m going to talk them up here so you might consider doing so as well.

    Swedish ladders (also called “stall bars” or “wall bars”) are exactly what they look like. They are a wide ladder with rungs up to a couple feet apart. They can optionally have a pull-up bar on top, like in the picture on the left above. They were created early in the nineteenth century by the Swedish (hence the name) “Father of Physical Therapy”, Pehr Henrik Ling. He has an interesting story that I’m not going to recap here, but I can link to his Wikipedia page and save you a Google search.

    The best exercises to do on a Swedish ladder are stretching exercises. You can grab a rung above your head and squat down to get a good stretch through your upper body. You can achieve a similar stretch by grabbing a lower rung and getting down on your knees.

    Another thing at which Swedish ladders excel is static strength moves. Obviously you can do dead hangs from the pull-up bar, but you can also do front or rear support holds. A support hold is where you simply grab a rung just above your waist height and hold yourself up in a straight position off the ground. My favorite exercises are inverted rows and decline push-ups with my feet on the rungs.

    For those of you who are visual learners and those of you who think I do a lousy job of describing exercises with words, here are two very good YouTube videos that show many different exercises being done with proper form. The first one is from VAHVA Fitness, who also have a great write-up on their website.

    Keep an eye out for Swedish ladders the next time you are at a park or a fancy gym. I encourage you to add them to your workout regime if you find them. Even better if you can pair them with rings or resistance bands.

  • A Trip To Mount Bonnell

    I decided to throw on my pack with 25 pounds in it and start a hike from 38th St and Guadalupe to Mount Bonnell (one of the highest points in the city with great views of Lake Austin). For those of you unfamiliar with Austin, this meant I was looking at about a six mile round trip. The first part of the journey was uneventful, just following 38th and 35th Streets past Lamar and MoPac and Camp Mabry. Here is the one-way route: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=7804394

    As I continued to approach my goal I saw an unexpected Peacock Crossing sign. Not seeing any peacocks in the road, I continued on. Then came the Balcones Escarpment. I needed to climb a steep vertical height over a short lateral distance and it kicked my ass. Those of you who are not from the Austin area may not understand what the Balcones Escarpment is. Luckily for you, they had a pictograph on the summit that describes it perfectly.

    Unfortunately for you, I am a shitty photographer using a shitty camera on a shitty phone so you can’t really see what the above says. Allow me to type it out here.

    An escarpment is an area where the elevation of the earth changes suddenly forming a line of hills or scarps. At Mount Bonnell, you are atop the Balcones Escarpment.

    The Balcones Escarpment runs through Central Texas from Austin, southwest through San Antonio, and from there to the Rio Grande (Big River) near Del Rio. It marks the boundary between the Great Plains stretching west and the Gulf Coastal Plain to the east. The break in the landscape defines major differences in earth resources, weather and climate, soils, vegetation, and animal habitats. East of the escarpment are the prime farmlands of the Blackland Prairies; to the west are the rangelands and woodlands of the Hill Country and the Edwards Plateau. The Balcones Escarpment marks the beginning of the American West in terms of landscape, ecology, geologic processes, and human endeavors.

    After hiking up the steep escarpment along a narrow two-lane road with no shoulder, I came upon the base of Mount Bonnell. From there it was a nice easy 100-plus stair step journey to Covert Park at the summit.

    Covert Park is named for Frank M. Covert, who was the original owner of the tract of land containing Mount Bonnell. His family gifted the area to Travis County back in the 1930s. Frank Covert is famous for opening the first automobile dealership in Central Texas. The local area is still crowded with Covert locations such as Covert Cadillac and Covert Ford. Pretty much the only name you see on the side of more buildings around here is Moody.

    The view of Lake Austin from the peak is awe inspiring and my photos do not do it justice. Because, once again, shitty photographer.

    The view looking northward
    The view looking southward

    After catching my breath and eating a turkey sandwich and yogurt I had packed, I trundled back down the road home. Along the way I stopped at Mayfield House and Nature Preserve. The house itself is an 1870s cottage that I did not visit, but there were some nice short trails along the water’s edge that I did partake in. They were rather relaxing and enjoyable.

    Just as I was getting ready to leave the area I figured out why that peacock crossing sign was along the road. I real bona fide peacock hanging out near the parking lot! Ultimately, I could not coax him into revealing his plumage for my camera but took some pictures anyway.

    And after that encounter I hoofed it back home. But not before stopping at P. Terry’s for a large shake of the month, thereby undoing all the good work I had done on the day’s hike.

  • My Fitness Curriculum Vitae

    I have not yet addressed my current level of physical fitness. When you are trying to do something like walk over uneven, unimproved ground for over 2000 miles during the summer your level of fitness is an important consideration. While I hope my fitness improves between now and March 2027, I want to take stock of exactly where I am as a starting point.

    I know I said in my last entry that I shared some physical traits with The Rock and Dave Bautista. That was a joke, or more accurately a bald-faced lie. I am in decent enough shape to not have any debilitating illnesses or anything of the like. I have two working legs and two working arms and I’m pretty sure my pancreas is functional.

    I was in the Army for 22 years, mostly in the Reserves. In that time I never failed an APFT (Army Physical Fitness Test) and actually got the maximum score of 300 once. Most of my tests I scored somewhere between 250-290 and got the PT patch basically every time I took the test between 2010-2017. I retired almost two years ago, so I took the new ACFT (Army Combat Fitness Test) only a couple of times for record. Each time I took it I did just enough to meet the minimum standard and coasted. Except for Spring-Drag-Carry (SDC). That was a fun event.

    In my opinion, the entire ACFT should be just the SDC. You should have to do it, rest 10 minutes, do it, rest 10 minutes, and do it again. Your slowest time of the three is the one that counts and needs to beat the minimum time to pass.

    I ran a marathon way back in 2009. I ran it in under four hours, which is nothing to write home about but when I originally wrote this sentence I said “I came in under four hours” which makes me sound like I’m trying to impress Charles Dera or Keiran Lee. I have run four half marathons and too many 10K road races to count. Most of those were in my 20s and 30s. The last long race I did was the Navy 10 Miler Afterburner Challenge in Fort Worth, TX in 2022. That race had a five miler you did at 0700 and then a 10 miler at 0830. They gave you three medals for completing it.

    I read somewhere once that age 45 is the most difficult as far as how much and how fast your body and fitness decline. For me that was definitely true. I run three times a week every week. For the last five years I have cut my daily miles from roughly 6-6.5 down to 4-5 just because of how much longer it takes me to run now. I can still run for distance at a slower pace, but I have lost my ability to go into “turbo mode” when I want to pass other people like I could a decade ago.

    Hiking is more like rucking than like running though. I have obviously done ruck marches in the Army. Most of them at a brisk pace with 30-40 pounds on my back. Also, most of them when I had much less gray in my hair. I did the Norwegian Foot March (NFM) in Evansville, IN back in 2017 and trained for it by rucking around various parts of Austin. The day I did the NFM is actually a good story so I won’t waste it here when I can squeeze a post out of it later.

    As far as weight training, I used to be a member of a gym up until Covid. You may have heard of Covid before. Since Covid I gave up on gyms and have trained at home with bodyweight exercises and free weights. I have also been fortunate enough to live near parks that have pull-up bars and similar equipment. Since it is so warm in Austin there are only a couple months a year that it is not feasible to train outdoors. I am thinking about joining a gym later this year so I can be able to concentrate on things like squats and deadlifts that it is not possible to replicate without giant barbells with giant weights on them.

    So that’s where I am right now. I am realizing that this blog is slowly becoming me talking about my past and not doing anything. I promise I will actually do something for my next post.